Identity Crisis


After graduating medical school, we are obliged to train for a year at a hospital in Jordan as a general practitioner in order to acquire a license to practice medicine. For many people, this year is life-changing in the aspect that you are required to make a lot of decisions regarding your career. The post-graduation blues begin to sink in as soon as you realize that the medical field is becoming more competitive than ever, and there are a million exams you have to go through before you land a spot in residency.

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Walking vs Chasing


Find beauty in everything you do. I’m going to tell you about a regular day I had.

I came to the US 3 weeks ago for an elective course (kind of like an internship before graduation). The experience has been beyond amazing, and I still have a few more weeks here.

It was a Friday afternoon and I got off work early. I needed some groceries so I decided to walk to a nearby store. Ever since I came here, I shopped at farer places and usually drove there. But this particular afternoon I really felt like walking in the fresh air. It was -1 degrees Celsius, but I was still going to walk.

And I enjoyed every minute of it.

Having to work, study, or do whatever we have to do always seems to make us nervous, anxious and in anticipation for it to finish. We really forget to take a walk and not be in a hurry… and just enjoy it.

I was really really really cold, I wished my coat could cover my face and my eyes and my hands and my toes and my hair! Then, I stopped at a traffic light and decided to look up at the sky. And it was blue and beautiful. I took a good look around and realized that I’m in the middle of a very unique city. And I’m only here for one more week, so I should enjoy every minute of it.

So much time passes while we’re too busy worrying, anticipating, and chasing after something that we sometimes forget to just take a walk.

It’s very important to chase your dreams, but don’t forget to live while you do.

Daydreaming


I often find myself lost in thought about the future. I used to think this was a new habit but I came to realize it’s something I’ve done my whole life. I remember daydreaming about being in med school. It seemed so farfetched back as a teenager.

These days, I daydream during a slow round or on my daily commute to Irbid. It really is overwhelming that in just a few months I will be held responsible for every word I say, every drug I prescribe and every action the people around me may perceive as “healthy” just because of a piece of paper I will hold. This piece of paper that can either be license to kill or a license to help.

I can’t believe that after all this hard work, the dream is only a few months away.

I just read a tweet by someone I really respect stating that after 19 years of doing what he’s been doing, he still doesn’t know if it was the right choice. And this got me daydreaming about something that I wanted to share: what really is the right choice? How do I know that this is the kind of responsibility I want to carry?

For me, it is the choice that doesn’t make you wonder ‘what if?’ every second of every day. It’s the choice that has you waking up with a smile on your face every single morning. In life, there are good days and there are bad. I think this is a sentence that I repeat in every single one of my blog posts. It is insane how much social media has influenced our perception of other people’s lives; we only see the “good”. We see the parties, the happy days at university, and the fun meals. We don’t see the sick days, we don’t see the cranky moods, and we most definitely do not see the countless hours spent working for accomplishing a dream.

My point is, look at the bigger picture. Stop thinking ‘what if?’. And get lost living your dreams. However, if you find yourself unable to remove this urge of ‘what if?’ – maybe it’s time to get lost doing something else.